So-called friends

Mike and I have been doing really good. Well, better than we were a few weeks ago. We still argue every now and then, but there hasn’t really been a big blow-up in a while. Tonight his friend’s mom is in town, so he asked to go over there and hang out. You would think since the guys mom is there that I would not worry about anything, but last time I went with Mike to see his friends mom, his friend and girlfriend snorted a frickin’ pill right in my face. Also, I didn’t find out until after the fact that the whole night I was sitting my his friend’s cousin who just so happened to be one of Mike’s ex’s. Ugh.

I just hate his friends, there is no other way to put it. There is really only one that I think I like. The others just use him and are no good.

After the gym, I wanted Chinese food so I ordered it and Mike was making a salad and I told him bye because I knew he would be gone by the time I got back. I went out to my car and just the thought of him going over there gave me such a bad anxiety attack that I sat there, tears streaming down my face, and trying to breathe for 5-10 minutes. I don’t know how to get over this. He told me the other day that this “friend” flicked a cigarette on him, and that he doesn’t have any friends, and that when he came home he just wanted to stay home. I feel like he plays with my emotions because then I asked him today if he was going to start hanging out with this guy again and he says every now and then. I hate the back and forth…it really screws with me. I need like days to prepare myself for him going out. I know I am a crazy person. I really wish we could just move.

He told me this friend might be going away to prison. I know it is horrible, but part of me wishes he would just so Mike won’t hang with him. I think he is one of the most negative influences and we were good when he was in jail. Jail obviously hasn’t changed him, so I told Mike maybe he needs to go to prison. I don’t feel bad for him because he brought it on himself, and then he lied to Mike about what actually happened. Some best friend.

I know I am just ranting, but I needed a release…and this is the perfect one.

Other than this bullshit, my day was good.

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