Today we got up early and went to the gym. After the gym, we went our separate ways. He had to go get his oil changed, and I went and spent the day with my granny.
Every time I spend time with her, we literally spend the whole time talking. I always love my time with her. She is literally the most important woman in my life. She is planning on moving soon, so she went through some of her stuff and gave it to me. She gave me some afghans and a blanket she made, and some other things. I will cherish all of the stuff she gave me forever.
After I got back home, the fiance and I went to dinner with his parents and then went to their house to pick up a juicer. Mike originally gave the juicer to his aunt for Christmas, then it went to his mom, then back to his aunt, then back to his mom, then to us, then back to his mom, now back to us and I think it has only been used once haha. We actually plan on using it now, though.
I know I’ve said it before, but I love his parents so much!!
Well, I spoke too soon. Last night my fiance and I got into a huge fight. First he told me he would be gone an hour, then it changed to an hour or two. I was already having anxiety over that and then I looked at my phone and two hours had passed and I just lost it. He texted me and said he would be home an hour and a half later and I got mad and just told him to stay. He must’ve left then, because he wasn’t home long after.
Our fight was huge…we both said things we didn’t mean and I was really worried it was the end of us. It was hard to go to work today because I was up late crying and fighting with him, but I knew I had to train the girl helping me out, and I couldn’t just leave her hanging like that.
When I went home for lunch, we both talked a little and cried, and then we talked more whenever I got off work. We are okay now…for now. I feel like if he keeps hanging around the same people, that we will keep having these same issues. I know I cannot ask him to stop hanging out with them, but I don’t know how to meet him in the middle with it either. I hate his so-called friends and what they are all about. I asked him once to tell me one good thing about them, or one good thing they have done for him and he couldn’t tell me anything. Everything I hear about them is always negative.
We skipped the gym today because we were both just emotionally drained.
Tags: Arguing, Fiance, Gym
Mike and I have been doing really good. Well, better than we were a few weeks ago. We still argue every now and then, but there hasn’t really been a big blow-up in a while. Tonight his friend’s mom is in town, so he asked to go over there and hang out. You would think since the guys mom is there that I would not worry about anything, but last time I went with Mike to see his friends mom, his friend and girlfriend snorted a frickin’ pill right in my face. Also, I didn’t find out until after the fact that the whole night I was sitting my his friend’s cousin who just so happened to be one of Mike’s ex’s. Ugh.
I just hate his friends, there is no other way to put it. There is really only one that I think I like. The others just use him and are no good.
After the gym, I wanted Chinese food so I ordered it and Mike was making a salad and I told him bye because I knew he would be gone by the time I got back. I went out to my car and just the thought of him going over there gave me such a bad anxiety attack that I sat there, tears streaming down my face, and trying to breathe for 5-10 minutes. I don’t know how to get over this. He told me the other day that this “friend” flicked a cigarette on him, and that he doesn’t have any friends, and that when he came home he just wanted to stay home. I feel like he plays with my emotions because then I asked him today if he was going to start hanging out with this guy again and he says every now and then. I hate the back and forth…it really screws with me. I need like days to prepare myself for him going out. I know I am a crazy person. I really wish we could just move.
He told me this friend might be going away to prison. I know it is horrible, but part of me wishes he would just so Mike won’t hang with him. I think he is one of the most negative influences and we were good when he was in jail. Jail obviously hasn’t changed him, so I told Mike maybe he needs to go to prison. I don’t feel bad for him because he brought it on himself, and then he lied to Mike about what actually happened. Some best friend.
I know I am just ranting, but I needed a release…and this is the perfect one.
Other than this bullshit, my day was good.
Tags: Anxiety, Fiance
Today was a pretty good day. It was the last day at work for one of my co-worker’s because she is moving. We weren’t really close or anything, but it was still hard to say goodbye. She wrote us all something personal in these little cards and passed them out before she left and they were so sweet. She said she would miss my giggle and then talked about the Celtics beating the Heat because she is a Celtics fan. It is hard saying goodbye knowing you will never see someone again.
I really didn’t feel like working out today…at all. It would have been so easy to just say forget it, but I pushed myself to go and I really am proud of myself. A few weeks ago..hell, even just a week ago I don’t think I would’ve did that. I stayed in there and waited for my fiance to tell me he was ready instead of me going and sitting in the car and waiting for him.
Tags: Goodbye's, Gym, Job
Today was another good day. I decided to try and start drinking more water today, and ended up drinking over 140 ounces of water. I use a Brita water bottle so that the water is filtered. The water at my job is really disgusting, so that helps.
My supervisor was out yesterday and today and I overheard someone say they think she is addicted to prescription pills. They said she has all of the signs, such as going to different hospitals just to get the prescriptions. I really hope that is not the case. I really hope she stops calling out so much because I really do like her and she really does help me.
I am proud of myself regarding going to the gym. Today I forgot my headphones at home. Without them, I didn’t even want to go in because I knew it would feel like so much longer without listening to something to help pass the time. I sucked it up though and actually kept working out until my fiance was ready to go.
Tags: Gym, Job, Proud, Water
Today was the normal Monday. Work, work, blah, blah, blah. HOWEVER, today at the gym I really put some work in. Usually, we go to the gym and I finish first and wait for my fiance in the car or truck. Today, I worked out the longest I have since we started going to the gym and he came to me to tell me he was ready. I felt really good about my work out today. REALLY GOOD.
I am hoping to kill it this week and I really hope to see the results pay off on the scale. Last week I only lost one pound and it was really disappointing to me because I really did slack off last week.
My fiance works on Sunday’s, so I really just relaxed at the house until he got home and then we went to the gym. On Sunday’s the gym closes early, so we played a little basketball and he rode the bike and I did the treadmill for a few minutes.
After the gym, we went to a produce market, then back home for dinner and then we watched the All-Star Basketball game. Nothing special :).
Tags: Fiance, Gym, NBA, Sports
Today my fiance woke me up early to follow him to a car shop to get his tires rotated and aligned or something. After that, we had to do a little shopping, then when we were on the way home we got the call that his truck was ready so we had to unload my car and turn right back around and go get his truck. After that we went to the gym.
Today at the gym was much better than yesterday.
We also had to spray for fleas because somehow the cats are getting fleas on them! They don’t go outside, so it amazes me how they are getting these fleas.
Then tonight we watched the All-Star Weekend Slam Dunk contest. It was okay, but it was kind of disappointing to me because two of the better ones didn’t make their second dunks and took the minimum score therefore taking them out of the contest. Lameeee.
Tags: Fiance, Fleas, Gym, NBA, Pets
This week was pretty good at work. All week I was training a new lady and she picked everything up really quick and actually helped me a lot. They hired her to help me, and then after she was there maybe two days the girl that does Blue Shield put in her two weeks notice, so they decided to take my helper and put her on Blue Shield. I am very disappointed. Now they probably aren’t going to hire anyone to help me, but I am hoping if I go to them for help that she can help me again. We shall see. She is a really nice lady and she actually helped my days go by faster.
Today was our first day back to the gym since before Mike got sick. I won’t even lie..it was really, really hard on me. Then after the gym we picked up some Thai food. Yummm, it had been a while since we had Thai food.
Tags: Food, Gym, Job
I really love Valentine’s Day…always have and probably always will. Last night before I went to bed a wrote a little note and taped it to the bathroom mirror for my fiance to see when he woke up. He ended up reading it at 12:30am and then got back into bed and kissed me on the cheek and said he loved me.
I really couldn’t afford to get him anything this Valentine’s Day, but what I wrote for him was completely from the heart and he seemed to like it.
We both had to work, then after work he had a heart pizza from Papa Murphy’s ready to be cooked and after that we went to see Safe Haven. It was my choice of movie, and I was so happy that he agreed to see that one. The beginning of the movie was kind of long, probably because I was tired from work, but the ending made it SO worth it! I ended up absolutely LOVING it…and he said he liked it too.
Overall, it was a nice Valentine’s Day. 🙂